The One With a Clean House & Auction News.

I'm finding that the messier my house is, the more stressed and anxious I feel. Last night Matt did the dishes while the kids & I put away the 7 loads of laundry I had done earlier in the day. While putting away his laundry, Nathan looked around his bedroom and decided it's much nicer to wake up with a clean bedroom, so he cleaned it. After I put away the laundry I started picking up the living room and again, Nathan was there helping me out. (This is the boy who FIGHTS about chores almost daily. I guess when it's not a "chore" he doesn't mind helping out. hmmm...)

All of that to say that I woke up to a clean house this morning and it completely made my day. It was so nice to know that I didn't need to do dishes right away... they were done! I didn't need to do or put away laundry right away... it was done! We vacuumed, swept, mopped yesterday so I didn't even need to do that. Today has been a low stress/low anxiety day for me and I haven't had one of those in a long time. The children are still children, the house is still getting messy from time to time... but not in the overwhelming way. What a blessing.

In Other News:
We are putting an offer on the house up for auction. We found out we can do a pre-auction bid so we are pursuing that right now. I am really hoping & praying this will work out. It would be such a huge blessing to us!

The One About Running Away

Some days I want to run away. I told Matt this recently and I think I freaked him out a bit. If I could I'd take him with me... but one of us needs to be the responsible one and stay put.

I often feel like life is overwhelming lately. I'm not quite sure why. It's no more stressful than last year. In fact, maybe it's a little less stressful than last year. I'm not sure... But I'm overwhelmed, tired and often thinking of what I *could* be doing if I was committed to raising my 5 children. It's obviously not that I don't love my children. It's not that I want to get away from them per say. I just want to escape the stress... I wish I could go back to 'real' school. I wish that I could study midwifery and not have a gazzillion and one things interrupting my studies. I wish I could decide I want to go out for coffee and just go. I wish I could decide I want to pick up a project & just do it w/out it getting interrupted.

I guess that's just how life is right now... and the time with the children is really short (so people tell me) & I'll have time for myself later.... but in the meantime I hope I keep my sanity in tact and don't loose myself in the midst of Lego Wars & Ponies.

The One About Uncle Bob

Uncle Bob & Aunt Cathy are leaving today. They live in WA and I haven't seen Uncle Bob in 12 years. 12 years too many. He has always been my favorite uncle. When I was a child he would come out to visit every year and he was a lot of fun. When I was a teenager he was wonderful to talk with and never seemed to judge me. This was the first time I've seen him since I became an adult. I have gotten married & had 5 children since last time I saw him. We didn't get a chance to talk like we used to... but we had a good time hanging out with family. I hope there aren't so many years between visits next time.

The One With Housing & Parenting Thoughts

On Parenting:

Lately parenting has not been a walk in the park. Lately there has been a lot of strife in our home between all of the children. Even 18 month old Katie gets in on the action by pestering 3 year old Erich. How does she do this? By getting in his face, trying to kiss him while he's screaming "NOOOOO" or laying her head on him or taking his favorite stuffed animal and then running when he comes close. Yah... even SHE can cause troubles.

So I've been frustrated, to say the least. All the bickering, snotty talk, even hitting (which is very unlike my children) has broken the straw on the camel's back and I struggle with why. I decided that I could revert to punitive parenting and see if that would just stop the actions, but then realized what does that teach them? Obviously whatever is bothering my children is a heart issue. I cannot change their hearts by spanking them. I cannot change their hearts by taking away video games and sending them to their rooms. It boils down to the fact that nothing that *I* do CAN change their hearts. They have to choose to change their hearts. Sure, a spanking would get them to control themselves (when they around me anyway), but it really doesn't teach them anything other than how to be more sneaky about being naughty.... or like my brother likes to say "how not to get caught."

Parenting needs to work from the inside out... we must work on their hearts and then it will show on the outside. So I need to work on their insides. I need to listen when they need to talk. I need to help them to hear themselves when they start talking in a mean way so that they can recognize it and stop it in it's tracks. I need to keep talking to them about being pleasing to the Lord and most of all show them in my actions what that means. Life has been stressful in the past year and lately it has come out in my wanting to be by myself a lot and not interacting with the children as much as I should ... and certainly not all in a positive way. So I guess what it boils down to is me changing my insides in order to help them change their insides....

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Ok... a not so deep subject!!

We placed an offer on an awesome house. It was rejected even tho it was only $5000 less than the asking price.

The day after we placed an offer on that house another house came on the market in the town I really wanted to be in. I was a little disappointed, but figured that wherever the Lord wants us is where we'll be. Anyway... we decided to look at it after the other offer was rejected. It needs remodeling for sure, but the structure is good & it is liveable the way it is. :) It has 1.5 acres w/ a big pond that has wildlife in it (an otter was swimming when we got there there... there were also ducks & of course, frogs) The house has 4 bedrooms, an art room, a laundry room, a family room, a living room, a kitchen, & a dining room. It's a late 1800's home.

Now we wait... and see. I hope they accept our offer and all this goes through... but I guess I should just keep praying that God's will be done.

The One With Parenting Thoughts

More parenting thoughts...

I've read a lot of parenting books in my time. I'm always looking and searching for new ideas, new thoughts, new ways of dealing with the day to day things we encounter. And it seems that as soon as I figure out how to deal with "x", they start doing "y" and I have to start all over again.

This move has thrown us all over the edge. We are currently staying in a rental that belongs to my parents. I'm constantly on edge because I'm afraid the children will mark up walls or floors or damage something in some way. That's the biggest reason I dislike renting! I also feel so in limbo and unsettled because I know we're not staying here and I don't know where we're going to end up. So I'm on edge and I admit, a wee bit grumpy and overwhelmed. The children are feeding off of that and we're having to deal with things I've never really had to deal with before. There is a lot of fighting, more disrespect, many meltdowns, crying, fussing, arguing w/ me... and the list could go on. To be honest I'd love to just spank it all out of them... make them behave by making them fearful. It sounds easier in so many ways than trying to deal with the inner heart and emotions of each individual child and myself. But I won't do that because I know that in the long run that only teaches them to stifle their feelings and not learn to deal with them in the right way.

There needs to be a book written "How to Parent Your Children Through a Move and Limbo Stage and Stay Sane"

The One With Open & Closed Doors.

I don't know if God literally opens and closes doors... but yesterday it sure seemed that way to us.

We planned to go to 3 houses yesterday and were praying that we would get a clear answer on whether we should make an offer on one. The first house we visited we didn't think we'd like, but decided to weigh all our options. We loved it... When we arrived the couple who owns it was just leaving. They were an older couple who have lived there for about 40+/- years and raised their family there. The husband is on oxygen and she had to help him into the truck, so it doesn't look like he's well. They were both friendly & got big smiles on their faces when they saw all the kids. The wife said "I lit a nice fire for you in kitchen" and she had. It was so cozy in there. They obviously took great care of the house, but it is too much house for them now, so they are selling it. The house needs some updating, but it is so nice! It has so much character & definitely fits us. But we had been to the second house before and knew that we loved the land. We planned to go inside, check out the house & make a decision (we nixed the third house after we saw exactly where it was located)

We arrived at the second house and were in awe, as usual, of the land. Tho we both noticed that we hated the drive & wondered how it would be in the winter or late at night. We arrived in the pouring cold rain. Our realtor had just updated her keys (they are computerized these days. lol) And no matter what she did the door wouldn't open. So we all left w/ the plan to come back after she figured it out. We came back to the house & the key STILL wouldn't work. We have been in the house before. It's a doublewide on a full foundation. We just thought that getting back inside would give us a good feel of whether it fit us or not.

So we left and decided to drive by the first house one more time. As we were 1/2 way between the houses Matt and I looked at each other and said "Do you think God would literally close a door?" at the same time! LOL! We hadn't even been talking about that...

We came home discussed it all out and decided to place an offer on the first house. We'll see how it goes from here... but the offer will be made tonight and then it's a waiting game. If it doesn't work out we'll just keep looking :)

The One With the Move

Well, the end of our home selling saga comes to an end as of tomorrow at 4:30 pm (probably a wee bit later than 4:30... but that's when the end begins. ;) ) Our closing has finally arrive and I'm thrilled!!

We moved into my parents home a few weekends ago. The rental isn't quite done yet... just a few things left to do before we get the OK to actually move in. However, all of my stuff is there (or in storage). I've already unpacked the kitchen and have gotten most of the boxes put into the right rooms. I unpacked a bit in the living room and clothes. We're so close to being moved in. I can't wait! Every day that I've been over here at the house I've gone for a traips in the woods w/ the children. We've found all kinds of fun nature things, heard lots of different birds & found lots of deer markings. The kids are really enjoying this and so am I. I am so glad we chose to move back here.

No news on the home buying front. Frankly, I don't even want to THINK about moving again anytime soon. It was a huge ordeal... We have two homes that we are interested in, but we're not pushing anything right now. I'm too tired to care at the moment.