The One About Adventure

What if we started each day as a new adventure?  When you are ready to set off on an adventure, you wake up excited and exhilarated. You don't know exactly what is going to happen on the adventure, just that you will experience new things and meet new people. You don't know if the adventure is going to be amazing or if it's going to be a struggle.

So what if we woke up each more, excited and exhilarated. What if we were to look at this day as a new adventure. We don't know what God has in store for us that day. We don't know if it'll be an amazing day or a tough one. We don't know if we will experience new thing or if we will meet someone new. Even as a stay at home mom, I can experience new things in a day.

Wake up. Keep an open heart and an open mind and see what adventure God leads you on....

Another One About Marriage

I've had all these thoughts about marriage mulling about in my head lately.  How to have a happy marriage? How to make a marriage last?  What to expect when you're married? I have no idea what to title my thoughts exactly... but here are the top 5 thoughts I've had.

• Your Spouse is Human! or Take Your Spouse off of That Pedestal!
• Can you believe your spouse is human? I remember walking down the aisle into my future as Mrs. Matt. Matt was perfect... the absolute best person in the whole wide world & I viewed him as a super hero.  Most young blushing brides probably feel the same way I did & most grooms see their brides that way.  The problem with seeing our spouses as superhuman is that they are, after all, merely human just as we all are. We put them high on a pedestal & where do they have to go but down?  And when they fall (i.e. when they are human!) we are surprised.  It may shake us to our core & shock us that they could be so... so human.  I think one of the best things I did in our marriage was to see my husband for who he is.  He's a great guy, a great dad, an amazing husband, but he is not perfect.  I took him off the pedestal and accepted him for the man God created him to be.
• Forgiveness
• I have mulled this subject over numerous times.  Forgiveness is a choice.  A hard choice.  What surprised me is that forgiveness doesn't mean the hurt is gone.  It doesn't mean that you automatically forget (after all, we are human... not God who DOES forget!) It surprised me that often you have to make the choice to forgive more than once.  Each time that negative feeling, the hurt, the pain creep back in... you choose to forgive again.  Some things are easy to forgive & only take one time while others are much tougher & take numerous times.  It is absolutely essential for a marriage that forgiveness be granted.  (On the flip side... repentance is absolutely essential as well.)
• Love is More Than a Feeling
• There is probably a bad country song with that title.  :) It's so true tho.  Love is more than a feeling.  Love begins with the feeling.  On that day you get married, you feel so much love, excitement, & joy.  You have dreamed of the day when you would marry the right person that swept you off your feet.  Those are feelings of love.  Love is a choice too.  When the going gets tough (and it will at some point in your marriage) and you feel as tho you don't love that person anymore, you choose to.  Choose to pick out the positive things, rekindle the love that you had at the beginning by dating again.. choose to love.
• Commitment 101
• I think one of my favorite quotes about marriage is this one:  It's a picture of an older couple who have been marriage 50+ years.  When asked what made them last that long, the answer was "We grew up in an era where you fixed things when they were broken, you don't throw them away." That's commitment.  When things are tough & seemingly hopeless, that's the time you determine to stick it out & seek ways to fix what was broken.  Too many people forget the commitment part of marriage because, let's face it, who wants to be miserable? Let me tell you from personal experience... when you feel like throwing in the towel, get on your knees and pray.  Find some way to communicate what you need. Get help if needed.... but find a way to stay committed & the Lord will honor that.
• The Marriage Triangle
• Which brings me to this last topic that's been mulling around in my mind... the marriage triangle.  God at the top... you on one side & your spouse on the other.  It is not always easy to carve out time to focus on God in the midst of our daily, busy schedules. Believe me, I know!  Keeping God at the top of the triangle will help all the rest fall into place.  It will help you to stay committed, help you to love & help you to be able to forgive your spouse.  God on the top... and equal partners below.

Just some random thoughts I've been wanting to write down... 

The One About Father's Day

Father's Day brings mixed emotions for me. On one hand, I have an awesome step-dad & a husband who is an awesome Dad to our children. I am very blessed to have them in my life & they show me what a true Dad really is.

On the other hand, it's a reminder that I haven't really spoken to my Dad in over 12 years... and haven't seen him in 17 years. And I'm always reminded how he abandoned our family all those years ago. It still blows my mind how anybody can just walk away from their kids like that. Having children of my own, I just cannot imagine what would make it okay to not see them or talk with them. I guess it's just one of those things I won't ever be able to comprehend because I'm just not like that. My kids are my life. :)

I try to focus on the positive & not the negative... Happy Father's Day to my loving husband & my wonderful step-dad.

The One About How I Am Not a Teacher

Apparently I'm not a teacher.  Matt & I recently decided to become members of our church & in doing so, we had to take a spiritual gifts test.  My top 3 spiritual gifts were serving/ministry, encouraging & craftsmanship.  Teaching was #4.  I was shocked to say the least, but at the same time it made a lot of sense to me.  I always thought teaching was 'my thing' in a way.  I went to college to do it, but the whole time I felt I was in the wrong field.  I've always been more drawn to nursing or midwifery.  Turns out that is a great profession for someone who has the gift of serving/ministry.  That makes so much more sense to me now that I understand a bit more about who God created me to be.  It was like a light bulb going on! 

But what does that mean for homeschooling?  It explains why I've never fully enjoyed teaching.  I don't enjoy it as much as people think I do.  I'm good at it & I like to help out wherever I'm needed, but I'm not excited about it.  And I homeschool.  I realize you don't have to be a teacher to homeschool... but what happens when it's more frustrating to you than fun?  Which has been the case over the past few years.  I think I need to change my outlook on it as more of a ministry to my children & the children at CFS.  Then maybe I can start to enjoy it??

I'm not sure where the notion that I was a teacher started.  I think it was in my young teen years.  Maybe I was just expected to follow in Mom's footsteps. (Who, by the way, IS an awesome teacher.)  I kind of wish that I had followed my "heart" (i.e. God's prompting) and went to school to be a nurse or a midwife when I wanted to at 17.

The One About Walls & Vulnerability

Walls. Lately I've been feeling very strongly that the walls in my life need to be broken down.  Walls that I've put up to protect myself & walls I've put up from a very young age.  No matter how young you are when a parent decides to abandon you and no matter how wonderful the other parent is, there is still pain involved even if you don't realize until 28 years later.  The walls I have I started building at the young age of 5.  My biggest wall is because I do not trust people. This wall started when I was 5 and was added on to over the years when boyfriends cheated, friends betrayed me, & so on. I put up protection between myself and anyone.  There are very few people I'm completely open with and who know me to my very core. The ones I will bare my soul to and can be unguarded around.  They can see me in my sweat pants and hair undone. They can see me crying and I allow them to hug me.  They can hear of my inner struggles. They are safe people.  

At a women's retreat recently God showed me that these walls that I've built to protect myself are actually hindering my work for Him.  Sure, they protect me, but they also keep me from being in relationship with God (yes, I even have trouble trusting Him) & with other people. 

Our Pastor preached on Sunday about walls.  He preached about walls keeping the church from reaching out into the community and serving.  As he was preaching I got to thinking about the walls in my life and what the Lord was showing me at the retreat. And then my mind wandered to walls in relationships.  How many walls are built up in marriages that keep the couple from coming into full relationship with each other.  Walls because of the sharp words said, the voices raised, the comments made.  Our human nature is to protect ourselves and our emotions.  But what would happen if you were more vulnerable?  Not allow yourself to be walked on, but allow yourself to be open. Share your hurt in a nice way so that your spouse knows how you are feeling.  Give him time to process.  Share deep thoughts, dreams & desires with each other.  Give grace when it's needed.

There is power in being vulnerable.  Something I'm learning lately.  When you open yourself up to your spouse, your friends, your God... amazing things can happen.  Walls begin to crumble, joy and peace begin to enter.  Then God can do His work through you.  

The One About Being Purposeful

     Being purposeful.  This theme has been running through my readings & thoughts a lot lately.  I think it started at the Weekend to Remember that Matt & I went to.  That was pertaining to marriage. Being purposeful to choose your spouse daily.  Choosing to receive your spouse as that gift God gave you in the same way that he gave Eve to Adam.  Adam didn't reject Eve... he accepted & received her as his life partner.  We choose to receive or reject our spouse daily.  Also being purposeful to show your spouse your love.  Don't just do things for him because you have to. Think it through, be purposeful about what you do for him.

     I was just reading "The Life Ready Woman" in preparation for a Bible/Book study I'm hosting soon.  This quote "It is so critical not to let life just pick us up and carry us along.  We need to be purposeful about making decisions that will help us take control of our lives...and our family's lives. " Be purposeful when making decisions.  Don't let life get overwhelming & sweep you off your feet.  Think things through. Pray things through. Read God's word. In doing these things, you can become purposeful about each step that you take & each life choice that you make. 

The One About Name Meanings

I was thinking about name meanings today & decided to look up my childrens meanings.  I looked at www.namemeanings.com

Matthew means "Gift of God".  Yep... my hubby sure is my gift!
Rebecca means "Captivating". Uhh... maybe not so much there.
Michael means "Who is like God?"  With a question mark.  I'm not quite sure what to think of that.
Nathan means "Gift from God."  Interesting.  Definitely is a gift from God. I have learned the most about myself and parenting from that child out of all of the children so far. :)
Karah means "Sweet Melody". Awww. Yes.  She's so joyful and loving and always singing.  So yes... I can see that meaning with her personality.
Erich means "Honorable Ruler."  Hmm...  he definitely likes to try the ruler part out.  We're going to work on the honorable part.
Katelynn means "Pure Beauty."  Again... fitting.  She's so beautiful, both physically & personality wise. Sometimes her personality is a bit out there... but she's very loving and for the most part & definitely has an inner beauty coming out.  She likes it because her favorite princess is "Beauty". :)

Fun to look up the meanings and see if and how they fit with the current personalities of my children.