Sunday, June 17, 2012

The One About Father's Day

Father's Day brings mixed emotions for me. On one hand, I have an awesome step-dad & a husband who is an awesome Dad to our children. I am very blessed to have them in my life & they show me what a true Dad really is.

On the other hand, it's a reminder that I haven't really spoken to my Dad in over 12 years... and haven't seen him in 17 years. And I'm always reminded how he abandoned our family all those years ago. It still blows my mind how anybody can just walk away from their kids like that. Having children of my own, I just cannot imagine what would make it okay to not see them or talk with them. I guess it's just one of those things I won't ever be able to comprehend because I'm just not like that. My kids are my life. :)

I try to focus on the positive & not the negative... Happy Father's Day to my loving husband & my wonderful step-dad.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The One About How I Am Not a Teacher

Apparently I'm not a teacher.  Matt & I recently decided to become members of our church & in doing so, we had to take a spiritual gifts test.  My top 3 spiritual gifts were serving/ministry, encouraging & craftsmanship.  Teaching was #4.  I was shocked to say the least, but at the same time it made a lot of sense to me.  I always thought teaching was 'my thing' in a way.  I went to college to do it, but the whole time I felt I was in the wrong field.  I've always been more drawn to nursing or midwifery.  Turns out that is a great profession for someone who has the gift of serving/ministry.  That makes so much more sense to me now that I understand a bit more about who God created me to be.  It was like a light bulb going on! 

But what does that mean for homeschooling?  It explains why I've never fully enjoyed teaching.  I don't enjoy it as much as people think I do.  I'm good at it & I like to help out wherever I'm needed, but I'm not excited about it.  And I homeschool.  I realize you don't have to be a teacher to homeschool... but what happens when it's more frustrating to you than fun?  Which has been the case over the past few years.  I think I need to change my outlook on it as more of a ministry to my children & the children at CFS.  Then maybe I can start to enjoy it??

I'm not sure where the notion that I was a teacher started.  I think it was in my young teen years.  Maybe I was just expected to follow in Mom's footsteps. (Who, by the way, IS an awesome teacher.)  I kind of wish that I had followed my "heart" (i.e. God's prompting) and went to school to be a nurse or a midwife when I wanted to at 17.