Wednesday, January 22, 2014

The One About Judgmental Moms

     I have read a few articles and participated in a couple of conversations lately about how mothers tend to be critical of each other.  Mothers often judge each other based on their status. Does she work outside of the home or stay at home? Are her children well behaved or naughty?  Does she loose her temper easily or appear to be patient?  The list could go on and on.... but you get my point.

     A friend mentioned that often when a Mom is being judgmental it is because she is feeling insecure herself. I started to think about this more and realized how true that statement was.  If I look back over my years as a Mom (Almost 13!!),the times I felt most insecure about how I was and the times I was struggling the most in my personal life are the time I spent judging other Moms. Yes, I once thought every good Christian Mom would homeschool their children.  WHY would they send them out into the world at such a young age?!  Or every good Mom would stay home with her children. WHY would she dare go back to work?! 

     Over the years I've realized what a disservice I did to them (though I never uttered a word of judgment to them) and to myself with my judgmental attitude.  Moms need to band together, encourage one another in the walks they have chosen and build one another up.  I think that if we were able to do that, we would feel less lonely.  We would feel less vulnerable and become better Moms, wives and friends. 

Monday, January 20, 2014

The One About Feeling Loved

I've been thinking a lot about Love Languages.  For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, check out this website. My primary LL is acts of service. Let me tell you, when that fulfilled, it is like all is ok in the world.  This past weekend my husband helped me with the housework while I did my homework.  Then went out of his way to help me immensely while I was at church all day on Sunday. I have to say that my 'love tank' definitely was filled by his actions.

One of my daughter's love language is gifts.  She is always making things for me or others.  When I unexpectedly chipped in some $ towards some items for her American Girl doll she was elated! 

One of my son's love language is acts of service.  This he demonstrates by performing acts of service for anyone anywhere.  He's a very helpful child and beams when we do things for him. 

My other daughter is most definitely quality time with a close physical touch.  She's always wanting to be with me.  Snuggling, stroking my hair, giving me kisses. 

I have struggled with finding the love languages of my other two sons.  I *think* one is quality time as well.  He seems to get a boost of confidence when he gets that quality time, especially with Dad.  My oldest son, I'm not sure of.  He's so even keeled that I struggle with reading what makes him feel more special. 

I have found that when the children's love languages are being fulfilled, their actions are better.  "People who feel bad, act bad."  The opposite rings true: "People who feel good, behave well." 

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

The One Behind Closed Doors

     I have had a lot of people comment on my personality.  They will say how calm I am or how quiet I am.  And they are right.  I am typically calm, reserved and quiet in public.  It may surprise some to find out that I am not that way at home all of the time.  Sure, often you will come to my home and find me sipping coffee and reading a book quietly while the children play happily.  Other times you could find me "lecturing" a child on responsibility or frustratingly cleaning up after them for the zillionth time because I just cannot repeat "pick up your coat" for the 50th time that day.

    If you were to pop in unannounced like a fly on the wall you may be surprised to find Toby Mac cranked up on full blast as I dance around the kitchen with a broom or a child.  Or you may walk into a house full of running and screaming and laughter as we pommel each other with indoor snowballs.  You may also walk into a house with fighting children and frustrated parents or an epic game of Dutch Blitz, again with yelling and laughter.  (I am very competitive!) On any given day, our home is filled with joy, laughter, fighting, frustration, and NOISE!  Very few people get to see the crazy/louder side of me... but it's there... hiding behind closed doors.