Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The One With Updates

Updates, updates...

The house update:

Besides the deed problem, there was another big cafuffle issue that our lenders were freaking out about. It got resolved already, so I won't go into details. It just added to the stress for a week. Fun, stuff. No word on the deed problem yet. I'm feeling my patience waning each day. I'm so anxious (in a good way) to get into the house. I know we will get there... I just don't want to wait anymore. We start school in less than 3 weeks and I so badly want to be settled before we start!

My Health Update:

Apparently I have a Vit. D deficiency that is causing me to feel as awful as I have been. I go in to discuss it with my Dr tommorrow afternoon. Hopefully it's no biggie and I can just take a supplement. In the meantime I'm spending more time in the sunshine (Thank the Lord it's been beautiful this week!!) and started drinking milk fortified w/ Vit. D again. I don't typically drink milk as I like to save it for the children, but I decided my health is worth it.

Schooling Update:

The children are super excited to start their school this year. They are every year, but then get tired of it by the time winter hits. They have been asking to start, so I let them start their readers. If they finish their readers early we can always get more books out of the library. Michael has chosen to wait to do his reader as it's all incooperated in his schoolwork. Nathan is reading Winne The Pooh & Karah is reading Oak Meadow's Ben & Meg (which is amusing because OM wrote it and incoorperated their homeschooling schedule/style into the story. )

Personal Update:

I got my hair cut! I haven't had my hair cut in a long time. I wanted to go completely different this time and so I chopped it all off. Ok, not all, but it's chin length. It looks really good and feels good. :) I have a secret about Karah, but she so desperately wants to be the one to tell her Aunt that I can't post it here just in case her Aunt reads it. I'll post after she gets to tell her.

Friday, July 16, 2010

The One About Oak Meadow

The school year is almost upon us and for the first time since I started homeschooling I feel nervous. Why? Because I'm doing something so completely different than I have ever done before as the teacher or the student. It's as close to unschooling as I'm comfortable to go & so far from the textbooks that we've used so far. I am excited and looking forward to this, but I'm also so nervous that they won't learn as much or as well as I hope they do.

We're going to use Oak Meadow ( The idea behind their curriculum is making learning interesting to children. To focus on what they enjoy & like and be completely integrated into every part of their learning. So much different then plopping them down at the table w/ textbooks where they have to do 2-4 pages in each book. This takes learning to the next level... lots of hands on and game playing and very literature based. I orginally got it with Nathan in mind. He is going into the 3rd grade and is most definitely a hands on learner. I thought it might make it easier for us than the daily battles we dealt with while doing A Beka. Easier, more interesting & he'll learn more if he's enjoying it.

But I'm nervous... I hope it works out ok.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Another One About Anemia

I don't know if anyone remembers this post, but I thought I'd update on how I'm feeling. It's pretty much the same. Exhaustion, fatigue, off/on heart palpatations. I did a bunch of resarch in my midwifery texts & online and I'm 99.9% sure it's anemia. So I called to make an appt finally and they can't get me in until next Thursday. However, the Dr was concerned about the heart palpatations, so she is going to call if there are any cancelations.

This should be interesting... 5 kids and a 40+ min appt. *sigh* This is one of the biggest reasons I wanted to avoid going to the Dr. For one, Dr's never take me seriously. (Or so it seems). And secondly I don't know how I'm going to keep Katie occupied. She's such a busy, busy little girl. But I need to find out my numbers so we can go from there. Matt is getting concerned because of my constant fatigue. I cover it up by drinking alot of caffeine, but even that isn't helping much these days.

I'll update again after my appt. :)

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The One About Being Present

Lately I've been feeling a huge pull to draw closer to the Lord. The idea of being 'in the moment' and to meditate has been popping up all over the place. It started with the neonatal resuscitation class I went to. The teacher taught us to be present because when needing to resusciate a newborn you absolutely must be present and not flipping out in your mind. I realized that this could be used in all aspects of life. Be Present.

So I wrote a note to msyelf... Be Present. Everytime I see it I'm reminded to take a deep breath, think of where I'm standing/sitting and focus on that for just a moment and it brings me to the present, not allowing my mind to be racing all over the place.

Then I picked up the controversial book, Eat Pray & Love. I realize that this isn't a Christian book at all and I realize that a lot of Christians have negative comments/thoughts about this book. I agree that there are points in this book that I cringe and feel sad that she is completely missing the point. HOWEVER, the book has taught me, once again, how important it is to be present. To still my mind and meditate on the Lord. This is SO very difficult for me... my mind is usually in about 1, 542 places at once. (Ok, maybe an exaggeration, but definitely a lot of places at once) and I have a hard time figuring out how to still my mind and meditate only on the Lord. I've found that saying a Bible verse over and over and only focusing on that has been very helpful. It stills my mind and makes me focus only on the Lord.

Then I went to church on Sunday. Pastor Roland preached about the storm on the boat. The disciples were freaking out and Jesus was asleep on a pillow. (Not literal pillow, but like a pillow) Pastor Roland pointed out that we have 2 choices when we're in a storm. Logically it makes sense to freak out and try frantically to bail yourself out of the storm. Spiritually it makes sense to go lay down on your pillow and rest knowing that it will all be ok.

Do you see where I'm going with this? All of this is weighing heavily on my mind and then all of a sudden the glitch happened w/ the house. And for some reason I find myself at peace. I find myself focusing on the present, not allowing my mind to suffocate me with fear and I find myself resting on my pillow... trusting God will see it through.

It's interesting and such a weird place for me to be in. I'm usually a "GOT TO FIX IT NOW!" person and I'm not feeling that way. I'm feeling at peace... doing what I need to do and just sitting back to see what happens.

Monday, July 12, 2010

The One With The Glitch

So a glitch has come up. I may be naive, but I have an underlying feeling that it will all work out. In the meantime this is what is going on.

Recap: We are buying the house from Fannie Mae through an auction company. We were the highest bidder in the auction & have to close by July 14th or we risk loosing our 5% that we put down. This is "earnest" money, but it's also non-refundable if we don't close by the 14th. We can ask for an extension. We did that once & it was rejected. We will need to do it again and hope that it is accepted this time.

So today the underwriters called our loan officer and said that Fannie Mae does not own the house we are buying. This makes our contract with Fannie Mae null & void as far as our financial dept can tell. Which, if that's true, we shouldn't loose our $, but it's Fannie Mae we're talking nabout. They aren't exactly notorious for being very helpful.

So our loan officer called Fannie Mae's lawyer & asked if they were aware of this. They said yes and that they had sent in a request for a "quick deed transfer". They said we should see it in 1-7 business days. Umm... excuse me? We're supposed to close in 2 days. *sigh*

SO... it looks like we will have to sign a new contract once they get the quick deed transfer. It's all so confusing & I don't even know if I understand it all. Our loan officer didn't even understand it all. She said in all the years she's been doing this (30+) that she has never ever seen a house sold by someone who didn't actually own it. GAH!

It's all just making my head spin.

But... I'm trusting that God wants us in this place adn will take care of it. Pastor's sermon yesterday was in perfect timing for this and if I had time I'd write more about it... but I need to get dinner started. :)

The One With Some Thoughts

It's interesing how just a comment from a family member, a friend or a stranger can throw you into a spin. Just a comment, hurtful, but just a comment. This happened to me recently and it's making me question my parenting, my children's influence on others, & mostly my relationship with that person.

I'm confused as to how to continue on with the friendship or if I just need to step back for a while and let the person guide where we're going.

It is interesting, tho... why do we let other people's thoughts influence us so much? Perhaps a person with more confidence would be able to over look hurtful comments.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

The One About My New Home

Ok, it's not 'mine' yet, but if all goes well it will be by mid-week next week. Only 5 days!!

I'm actually really excited about this house and I feel funny telling people that. It is, after all, just a house. It is, after all, right in town (which I said I wouldn't do again) and only on .25 acre (again, which I said I wouldn't do.) However... I LOVE this home. Let me describe it to you in my thoughts...

You walk through the front door into a small mud room with a ceramic tile floor. I plan to put a bench in this mud room w/ storage under for boots, etc. Then you walk through another door and see the living room to your left, the door to the garage to your right, the dining room right in front of you and the open staircase going upstairs to your front/right (if that makes ANY sense at all. ) The living room has wood flooring and two windows in the front. I'm excited about decorating the living room, tho I need new furniture so it'll be a while before I get it to what I want exactly.

Instead of turning left into the living room you walk into the dining room and turn left. Now you can see the kitchen. It's a galley kitchen, which I've been told has it's plus and minuses. I'm looking forward to having more counter space and cupboards as well as a gas stove! I love cooking w/ gas. :)

To the left of the kitchen is a 1/4 bathroom and right across from that is the staircase leading to a full & dry basement! We plan to build a playroom down there for the children. The laundry room is down there as well. :)

So now you walk through the dining room and find the staircase and head upstairs. At the top of the stairs you turn a 180 and are in an open room. This is the office area currently. There is a countertop that they used as a desk in this room. The room is pretty bright & open because there are windows on either side. To the left of this room is the master bedroom. There are wood floors in the open room & the master bedroom. Right now the walls in the bedroom as sponge painted a dark grey blue. ICK!! There is a giant closet in this room which will start out as my scrapping/sewing area and will be changed into a master bathroom as time & $ allow.

To the right of the room at the top of the stairs is a hallway. There is a bedroom on the right down the hallway and then 2 on the left. At the end of the hallway there is a full bath. All the bedrooms and the hall have a light teal carpet which will be changed as soon as the children are old enough to not destroy it. :) The boys will be in one room and the girls in another. The fourth bedroom is undecided. I have ideas: school room/guest room or library/guest room. But to start out it will be the playroom until we build the one in the basement.

So that's my soon-to-be home.... I'll share pictures once we get in and I find my camera again :) I'm really excited about decorating and setting up this home.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The One About Churches

A friend of mine recently wrote about being free from in the four wall, brick & mortar structure. It got me thinking about the churches we've attended over the past 5 years.

I struggle with churches. I have been an active member of a church for as long as I can remember. I grew up in a very close church & I think because of that my expectations may be skewed. We have not found a close knit church like that again. My husband & I visited many churches and tried to become active, but they get so clicky and we realize we either aren't wanted there or don't belong there.

I'm thinking particularly about the last church we were members of. We joined and were excited because people seemed nice. Things went south shortly after we joined. It was like we no longer mattered... they added to their number and that was great. We didn't give a ton of money to the church, we are a one income family! There were others who joined around the same time we did who were two income families and they were definitely welcomed in with open arms much more than we were. It was hurtful. I remember being out sick for 6 weeks and never having one single call from anyone wondering where we were. We were invisible, depsite the HOURS I put in helping w/ the nursery scheduling and children's ministry. The only time anyone noticed us was when something went hay-wire with the nursery scheduling. THEN I would get a phone call.

Needless to say, it left us feeling used and not at all cared for in the way a church should care for it's members. So we left. We've been cautious about participating in anything at our "new" church. (We've been there for over a year and I still call it that.) I *just* barely volunteered to be on the nursery schedule. I help out here and there, but try not to get very involved. I don't want to be hurt again ever, so I keep my distance and try not to expect to be a part of anything that goes on there.

It's a sad realization to me that churches will never be what the church I grew up in was. People seem too self absorbed and uncaring these days. In that church people didn't even have to ask to be helped with a move or a house project. It truly was like the "New Testament" church. (It was actually called The New Testament Church. LOL! :) )

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The One Where I Talk About More House Stuff.

I feel like I'm in the last phase of "pregnancy" (i.e. house buying). Yes, I can pretty much relate everything to pregnancy, labor & birth. At the end of pregnancy you know it'll be over soon. You are miserable and anxious and excited all at the same time. You want to ready everything and try as you may, you can't wait patiently. You are too excited and a little apprehensive. That's where I am with this house buying thing. I can not wait for it to be over. I can't wait to be there & I'm so excited. But I'm also apprehensive. What if something goes wrong? What if something comes up and it's bad? What if the appraisal doesn't go through ok? What if, what if?

But my husband is, as usual, my rock. He is very encouraging that all will go well & soon we'll be in our new home. It's been a long 2.5 years of selling/searching/buying. *sigh*

Thursday, July 1, 2010

The One Where I Say 'I Love You'.

I'm on a parenting kick lately. Not sure why that is, but there are a lot of parenting thoughts mulling around in my head.

I realized this morning as I walked through the living room where Michael was laying on the couch reading "Percy Jackson" that I don't tell my kids "I love you" very often. Oh sure, the typical times... bedtime, morning, etc. But not just randomly throughout the day. So I just blurted "Hey Michael. I love you." He looked at me like I had 2 heads and then smiled and said "I love you too." My mini shadow was walking behind me and said "Luv Oooo" in her tiny little voice and it made me feel warm inside.

If it makes me feel warm inside to hear my baby and my 9 y/o say it, imagine how they must feel to hear me say it?

I've been working on using my hands only for 'love touches'. A hair tossle for the boys, a snuggle for whomever wants it, a gentle carress of the face and a light kiss on the nose for the girls. We don't come from a very touchy/feely family, but for some people their love language is touch. I figure there has to be at least one of the 5 who has that love language, so why not lavish it on them all? We have been a family who uses 'smacks' as a joke in a way. A quick "wisterpoop" to the head or a quick smack on the bum as they run through the room. But I was realizing that this wasn't really appropriate or kind to my children and they were starting to do it to each other which, of course, would turn into a war. So it needed to stop & now I do a quick hug or kiss instead.

I do truly love my kids. I think that this is the bottom line of parenting. Love. Respect. Kindness.