Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Another One About Trust

Being the Mom God wants me to be. This has been on my mind a lot lately. Two times in my recent reading I came across the idea that if what I am doing is taking away from my family's needs then perhaps I shouldn't be doing it. This was interesting to me as so much of what I do at the moment is focused on the house selling, house buying, my schooling, and friends. So much of what I do is focused away from the children and I would say it's taking away from my family's needs. Part of me sees that there needs to be a change in the focus... a shift in my paradigm. The other part of me is saying "How?" or "Where?" or "What gives?" My priorities are always to my husband, my children and my home. Not in that order lately... but I think bigger than that my priority needs to be the Lord and the rest will fall into place. I think I'm a bit of a control freak, tho I have never labeled myself as that before. The reason I say that is because it is hard for me to just let go of those things that I feel I need to hold on to and control. Even placing them into capable hands I still give instructions. "Lord, I place this whole house thing into your hands. I'm trusting you to provide as we need." in one breath and "Let it happen SOON, PLEASE" literally in the next breath. That's not really trusting... that's putting stipulations on the 'trust' that I pretend is there.

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