The Florida Vacation One... Day one

This morning we hit the road by about 7:30.  An hour and a half later than originally planned, but I guess we were in vacation mode already and dilly-dallied a little. 

We hopped in the car with the kiddos strapped in and Nobody along for the ride.  It rained/poured the whole time.  There was rarely a break without rain.  We skirted around NYC and Philadelphia, but there was no way to avoid Baltimore/DC.  We ended up hitting Baltimore at rush hour... Oops! And then DC was next.

We have been relying on Guinevere... our trusty GPS system... for a  few years now.  Usually she does just fine, but I typically consult with a map as well.  When we got near DC I peeked at the map and thought Guinevere was steering us safely around the outskirts of DC.  Much to our surprise, she steered us smack through DC.  We got to see a part of the White House, so that's cool! And it took us off of interstate driving for a few... But it did add an hour to our time.  We finally arrived in Williamsburg at 9:40... 14 hrs and 10 minutes after we left home.

I have to brag on my amazing kids. They must have large bladders and the patience of saints.  They did not leave the car for 12 hrs!  We stopped for gas once, but only Matt got out of the car.  No squabbles or complaints!  I was pretty impressed with my offspring and made sure to let them know that!! Despite what the following picture shows, they were in great moods and did awesome!  Looking forward to tomorrow....

 

Editing to add.... Everything from Southern, PA on is GREEN!!  It's beautiful... leaves on the trees, buds blooming... LOVE it. 

The One with Confessions of a Random Co-sleeper

     I told a friend recently that I only co-slept with my babies for 6-9 months.  And that was true. Co-sleeping made life easier when they were small infants, but as they grew and would wake up to every noise I made, it was time for them to sleep on their own.  However, our room stayed open for little ones who were restless.

     Last night we heard the tell tale signs of our youngest coming in our room.  First the pitter patter of her little feet as she sleepily stumbled down the hall.  Then the twist of the doorknob followed by a body slam into the door. (She never twists it quite enough on the first sleepy try. ) This was followed by a stronger twist of the doorknob and then the door swung open and we heard her little voice, "I just wanna snuggle you, Mom." And voila! She was back in our bed, co-sleeping again.

     There is something sweet about the random co-sleeping.  I am not the kind of person who could take it every night. I need my space!  There are times I get touched out from the snuggles and just need some room, but the random nights are nice.  I love seeing her there next to me, all sweet and angelic.  I've kissed away any bad dreams that may have prompted the need for snuggles and she's tucked in warm and safe with us until she decides to head back to her bed after a few hours. That is the type of co-sleeping I enjoy. 

The One About Judgmental Moms

     I have read a few articles and participated in a couple of conversations lately about how mothers tend to be critical of each other.  Mothers often judge each other based on their status. Does she work outside of the home or stay at home? Are her children well behaved or naughty?  Does she loose her temper easily or appear to be patient?  The list could go on and on.... but you get my point.

     A friend mentioned that often when a Mom is being judgmental it is because she is feeling insecure herself. I started to think about this more and realized how true that statement was.  If I look back over my years as a Mom (Almost 13!!),the times I felt most insecure about how I was and the times I was struggling the most in my personal life are the time I spent judging other Moms. Yes, I once thought every good Christian Mom would homeschool their children.  WHY would they send them out into the world at such a young age?!  Or every good Mom would stay home with her children. WHY would she dare go back to work?! 

     Over the years I've realized what a disservice I did to them (though I never uttered a word of judgment to them) and to myself with my judgmental attitude.  Moms need to band together, encourage one another in the walks they have chosen and build one another up.  I think that if we were able to do that, we would feel less lonely.  We would feel less vulnerable and become better Moms, wives and friends. 

The One About Feeling Loved

I've been thinking a lot about Love Languages.  For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, check out this website. My primary LL is acts of service. Let me tell you, when that fulfilled, it is like all is ok in the world.  This past weekend my husband helped me with the housework while I did my homework.  Then went out of his way to help me immensely while I was at church all day on Sunday. I have to say that my 'love tank' definitely was filled by his actions.

One of my daughter's love language is gifts.  She is always making things for me or others.  When I unexpectedly chipped in some $ towards some items for her American Girl doll she was elated! 

One of my son's love language is acts of service.  This he demonstrates by performing acts of service for anyone anywhere.  He's a very helpful child and beams when we do things for him. 

My other daughter is most definitely quality time with a close physical touch.  She's always wanting to be with me.  Snuggling, stroking my hair, giving me kisses. 

I have struggled with finding the love languages of my other two sons.  I *think* one is quality time as well.  He seems to get a boost of confidence when he gets that quality time, especially with Dad.  My oldest son, I'm not sure of.  He's so even keeled that I struggle with reading what makes him feel more special. 

I have found that when the children's love languages are being fulfilled, their actions are better.  "People who feel bad, act bad."  The opposite rings true: "People who feel good, behave well." 

The One Behind Closed Doors

     I have had a lot of people comment on my personality.  They will say how calm I am or how quiet I am.  And they are right.  I am typically calm, reserved and quiet in public.  It may surprise some to find out that I am not that way at home all of the time.  Sure, often you will come to my home and find me sipping coffee and reading a book quietly while the children play happily.  Other times you could find me "lecturing" a child on responsibility or frustratingly cleaning up after them for the zillionth time because I just cannot repeat "pick up your coat" for the 50th time that day.

    If you were to pop in unannounced like a fly on the wall you may be surprised to find Toby Mac cranked up on full blast as I dance around the kitchen with a broom or a child.  Or you may walk into a house full of running and screaming and laughter as we pommel each other with indoor snowballs.  You may also walk into a house with fighting children and frustrated parents or an epic game of Dutch Blitz, again with yelling and laughter.  (I am very competitive!) On any given day, our home is filled with joy, laughter, fighting, frustration, and NOISE!  Very few people get to see the crazy/louder side of me... but it's there... hiding behind closed doors.

The One Where I Talk About the Label "Strong Willed Child"

I detest labeling children.  One of the terms I dislike the most is "strong willed child" because of the negative connotations it brings with it.  It is never said it in a positive way and is often an excuse for a poorly behaved child. 

There are some children who do exert more will than others. It may take them longer to come around to a new idea. They may 'rebel' against everything you say at first.  However, being negative about it and giving them a label of "strong will" is not going to help them. 

God created each of us with different personalities.  How boring it would be if we were all the same!  I have 2 children who would be labeled 'strong willed' if I believed in such a thing.  Instead, I believe in viewing their will as a gift God has given them.  Think of the people in the Bible who were strong willed and what awesome things they did for God! 

While a stronger will may be more difficult for parents, it is better to embrace that will.  They are still teachable, you just need to learn what helps your child to overcome the negative aspects of his strong will and embrace the positives.  Humor works for both of my children who struggle with this.  Also spending quality time with them and keeping up a fairly  consistent routine helps when they are younger.

The One About Commnity

     Community.  This topic keeps coming up in my life.  It comes up in my Theology class.  It comes up in my conversations with friends. It comes up in sermons at church.  It just keeps on popping up and in my experience, if something keeps on popping up, God is nudging me to explore the ins and outs of it.

     Community seems to be something that most people are lacking.  Even in the church and family communities, people are too busy to make connections.  We work side by side; we share smiles; we share pleasantries.  We rarely go deeper and show who we are.  We rarely allow ourselves to open up.  Life has taught us that people are untrustworthy. We have to protect ourselves from being hurt.  People fail us time and time again and walls are built higher and higher each time.  This breaks down the opportunity for true community.


          The book of Acts depicts a true community:

So those who accepted his message were baptized, and that day about three thousand people were added. They were devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Reverential awe came over everyone, and many wonders and miraculous signs came about by the apostles. All who believed were together and held everything in common, and they began selling their property and possessions and distributing the proceeds to everyone, as anyone had need. Every day they continued to gather together by common consent in the temple courts, breaking bread from house to house, sharing their food with glad and humble hearts, praising God and having the good will of all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number every day those who were being saved.

     Today's life isn't set up for this type of community.  However, community is still achievable.  If people can put themselves out there; not be easily offended; be gracious, kind and giving; and follow the Lord's example, community is achievable.  
 
     A friend recently challenged me by saying "now the question becomes are you to search for it [community] or be the facilitator?"  It is *hard* for me to be a facilitator.  It goes against my introverted core to put myself on the line even by simply inviting someone to dinner.  But I am going to take steps to seek opportunities to facilitate it more and see what comes of it...